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Ghost in the Rearview

by The Describers

/
1.
All is quiet in the world I've made Prayers and wishes that it stays that way Everything is so picturesque A fine delusion for the deep distress Would it hurt starting over? Would it hurt starting over? Would it hurt starting over? Would it hurt starting over? Something ringing in my ears again Salutations from a so-called friend They lobbed a candy-coated love grenade With instructions how to know my place Would it hurt starting over? (Would it hurt starting over?) Would it hurt starting over? (Would it hurt starting over?) Would it hurt starting over? (Would it hurt starting over?) Would it hurt starting over? (Would it hurt, would it hurt, would it hurt?) There's a whisper saying to forget But part of me would like to play again I got most of my assumptions wrong Learning lessons like a solfège song Would it hurt starting over? (Would it hurt starting over?) Would it hurt starting over? (Would it hurt starting over?) Would it hurt starting over? (Would it hurt starting over?) Would it hurt starting over? (Would it hurt, would it hurt, would it hurt?) All is quiet in the world I've made Prayers and wishes that it stays that way
2.
Damn the ghost in the rearview Trying to broker a peace Between a work of fiction And a fractured memory The specter in the sadness Haunting every choice Each path that you have taken Has a past you can’t avoid Don’t care to think about it What’d I’d do to get you out of my head Don’t care to think about it Desperate for a distraction To give a little relief The chaos on the timeline Is it destiny or disease? The madness is in motion Embedded in your mind Both regret and satisfaction As the cosmos multiplies Don’t care to think about it What’d I’d do to get you out of my head Don’t care to think about it Don’t care to think about it What’d I’d do to get you out of my head Don’t care to think about it What’d I’d do to get you out of my head Don’t care to think about it
3.
Fever Dream 03:09
I'm feeling the steam Hot, heavy and wet With only my gin-soaked sweat To cool me within I'm breaking out Like an allergy Every little part of me Wants to burst through my skin Am I alive? Is this a fever dream? Will all my lies Finally catch up with me? Desperate for breath From behind my smile As every unhinged denial Seeps through my flesh I'm melting down Like candle wax Holding off a heart attack And feeling like death Am I alive? Is this a fever dream? Will all my lies Finally catch up with me? I thought I'd get out once the getting got bad Cashing out early with what I can But the siren song took hold of me And I'm left leaking out my dignity Am I alive? Is this a fever dream? Will all my lies Finally catch up with me? Am I alive? Is this a fever dream? Will all my lies Finally catch up with me?
4.
Pale green tile, with the crimson decoration Unadorned through the waking day Bulging eyes and blurry double vision Frozen still in a cataleptic haze Ghostly face slowly recomposing Making plans, numb inside the shower Amber moon spying through the window Counting down the quickly waning hours You’re in the in between As I bathe myself misery You’ll always stay pristine Locked inside a memory It comes and goes like an apparition Calling out an evening of regrets Branded heart, scourged by recollection It plays again, cursed not to forget You’re in the in between As I bathe myself misery You’ll always stay pristine Locked inside a memory Heavy soul toils with haste and purpose One more wipe, and then the panic’s done Pale green tile, the crimson fades to nothing Just in time to flee the morning sun Just in time to flee the morning sun You’re in the in between As I bathe myself misery You’ll always stay pristine Locked inside a memory Oh you’re too close to me Your voice is somewhere following You’ve always stayed pristine Locked inside my memory
5.
Worn out, worn out The padding down to the frame The fabric has been stripped down Exposing every seam Bleeding days turn to fitful nights Underwhelmed and compromised Inside Get out, get out For a fleeting moment's relief You're shut in and shut down Breathing in the unease Staring blankly at the edge of time The spinning clock has got you hypnotized Inside Here it comes, the same old verse But a little stranger and a little worse Catch the rhythm then catch the curse Lay down, lay down And settle into your rest Maybe this will work out Work out all for the best It can't hurt when you close your eyes An hour killed, the winning prize Inside Here it comes, the same old verse But a little stranger and a little worse Catch the rhythm then catch the curse Spill out, spill out And rip off another scab Melodies fall down With the meanings you have bred Sharing secrets as an exercise You vomit words to keep the brain alive Inside Here it comes, the same old verse But a little stranger and a little worse Catch the rhythm then catch the curse Here it comes, the same old verse But a little stranger and a little worse Catch the rhythm then catch the curse
6.
The Business 03:46
Pull up my big-boy pants and peek out the door There’s unease I can’t ignore but I won’t quit trying I’m stepping the dance, my memorized routine Oh the choreography of the slowly dying ‘Cause I was taught to mind my business When the business is not my own I was warned to not act reckless ‘Cause the business is not my own Tuck in my Oxford tails and move my ass outside Though the reckoning arrived, it’s not my fight I live to be regaled by the algorithm’s peace With drinks at Applebees to cap the night ‘Cause I was taught to mind my business When the business is not my own I was warned to not act reckless ‘Cause the business is not my own I tasted sugar where my spine should be Still fermenting in my fantasies ‘Cause I was taught to mind my business When the business is not my own I was warned to not act reckless ‘Cause the business is not my own
7.
How do you feel, my heart? How do you feel? There’s been trouble in discerning What’s the joke and what is real How do you feel? The old, familiar greetings sound like an alarm With a fear of friendly faces I cannot disarm Oh I’m wearing my discomfort underneath my Sunday best While I force another smile and swallow my distress How do you feel? How do you know, my mind? How do you know? With so many hidden stories To the masks that you’ve been shown How do you know? With a twinkle to their side eye and whisper to their breath I’ve been answering their questions as if it was a test Could the kindest of veneers hide just where the monster lies? Do I double my defenses, is that how to stay alive? How do you know? How do you know? When some you might have trusted reveal their truest hearts Misguided by their trauma or malignant from the start When you’re grieving for your past or a piece of hometown pride Should you wrestle your beginnings or leave that all behind? Well how do you feel? How do you feel? How do you feel? How do you feel, my heart? How do you feel? There’s been trouble in discerning What’s the joke and what is real How do you feel?
8.
Half Closed 05:53
Sun chases me westward Early in the morning Coffee spills as I kick the clutch In my mid-90s sedan County line’s coming Signs herald the warning Lazy insults and bible verses Threats painted by hand Oh, I’m pretending it’s truly an open road Oh, hardly holding together with my eyes and mind half closed Half closed The pancakes are drowning With the ketchup-soaked scrapple Smorgasbord calls for second helpings When I’m fixing to leave But there’s blood on the table Debates to be grappled Just a word turns my insides over Am I something to grieve? Oh, I’m pretending it’s truly an open road Oh, hardly holding together with my eyes and mind half closed Half closed Oh, I’m pretending it’s truly an open road Oh, hardly holding together with my eyes and mind half closed Oh, I’m pretending it’s truly an open road Oh, hardly holding together with my eyes and mind half closed Half closed Half closed Half closed

credits

released October 28, 2022

All instruments and vocals by Jason McGovern, except for drums by Dan Nazario (Hurt Starting Over, Don’t Care to Think, Pale Green Tile and The Business) and Andrew Huston (Fever Dream).

Produced, recorded and mixed by
Jason McGovern at the Eel Diner Jukebox

Additional recording by
Justin Nazario at Sound Splitter Studio

Mastered by
Ryan Schwabe

All songs by
Jason McGovern
©2022 Eel Diner Jukebox, ASCAP
EDJ-008

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The Describers Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

DIY Americana folk & pop rock for people who like DIY Americana folk & pop rock.

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